The waves swell mightily, pitching men to and fro. Deep in the bowels of the hull, the creaking and groaning ships beams offer up a dull cadence. The captain, hunched over a scattered pile of nautical charts, reaches for a dark brown bottle, takes a hurried slug, and goes back to work. That shot of “grog”, also known as rum, will keep his nerves steady for another hour or so.

That mood enhancer in a bottle has gone from being part of the British Empires daily issue to her sailors from the mid 1600’s up to1970 through to its current embodiment, a flamboyantly dressed pirate who shows up unannounced at flashy night clubs, bellowing a hearty “Please drink responsibly”. A heady marketing campaign has poured glamour into what used to fortify sailors, exposing it as a drink of depth and nuances.

This sugar cane based elixir gets much of that depth provided by wooden casks that many types of rum are aged in, where hints of vanilla pepper and spice are imparted. From there it is bottled and labeled with a kaleidoscope of colors and slapped with eye catching names, such as Big Black Dick Rum, from the Caymans, or more mundane monikers such Pusser’s, from Tortola and Jack Tar, from Jamaica.

From the trendy club staple “the mojito”, a Cuban submission of mint, sugar cane, lime, and white rum that was originally made for the sugar cane workers in the land of Fidel to the Hawaiian shirt and black sock crowd pleasing Pina Colada, with coconut milk, dark rum and pineapple juice, these standard cruise ship cocktails are the heady commercial side of rum.

Other more elusive and exotic cocktails utilize harder to find rums, such as Barbancourt from Haiti, a potent amber rum with a smooth, peppery finish or the Anejo style rums, such as Grand Anejo Ron Barcelo, a smooth, darker rum with hints of vanilla, which are aged longer than other rums.

A deceptively simple concoction of a 3 to 1 mix of ginger ale to rum, ice and 3 wedges of lime allows these rums to mingle with hints of ginger and lime, drawing the out the spices, though purists will scream when they see you Tom Cruise your way through this “Cocktail” that rum should only be served neat or on the rocks.

In the hunt for rums and how they are best served, here is a short compilation of some of the Caribbean.

Haiti:
Barbancourt 8 or 15 year- Fiery. Well suited for “the rocks”. 15 year is slightly smoother.

Barbados:
Mount Gay Extra Old- Intense, light spices, great mixed with ginger ale, lime and ice.

Jamaica:
Myers Original Dark- the original mixing rum. Brilliant in Pina Coladas or Planters Punch”.

Dominican Republic:
Gran Anejo Ron Barcelo- incredibly complex, limited spices and hints of vanilla. Great on the rocks.

As everyone’s taste buds are subjective, sampling and trying combinations will be the only true way to find the rum that suits your drinking style.

Suggestions from your friendly neighborhood bartender are another way to begin your own high seas adventure of rum tasting. But stay far from that wildly dressed pirate hawking cheap rum at parties. For his is an easy to find rum. And the adventure of finding rum is always best on the seas least sailed.

–Tim Connors, RED Editorial Staff.

Al Franken made us laugh when the cum laude Harvard graduate started as one of the original writers for the TV show, “Saturday Night Live.” But comedy wasn’t the first choice for Franken who realized he had a gift for satire when he made the second grade girls at his elementary school cry with his scathing parody of “I’m a Little Teapot.”

“I had thought I’d have a career in one of the sciences,” says Franken who was raised in a suburb of Minneapolis. “Like being a physicist.”

Comedy won out and during Franken’s 15-year tenure at SNL, he earned four Emmys for writing and another for producing. Besides that, Franken created the character of the new age cable TV host Stuart Smalley and would later both write and star in the movie “Stuart Saves His Family” which was given “two thumbs up” by movie critics Siskel & Ebert. He also hosted a radio show and has written several books.

That might make some wonder why Franken, who was living in New York City until a few years ago, would give it all up to return to Minnesota to run for the U.S. Senate on the Democratic ticket against first term senator, Norm Coleman.

Yet, reaching into Franken’s past, it becomes apparent that not only comedy but also politics were an important aspect of his childhood. He and his father, Joseph, spent hours watching comedy shows; but they paid fond attention to world events as well.

“We watched the news each night and discussed it,” says Franken. “Starting with the Kennedy election in ’60.”

Franken describes his father as both a Republican and card carrying member of the NAACP. The older Franken was turned off by Republican candidate Barry Goldwater’s stance on race during the 1964 presidential election and changed his party affiliation.

“Ultimately my dad campaigned for Paul Wellstone,” says Franken about his close friend, the U.S. Senator from Minnesota who died in a plane crash shortly before the 2002 Senate race. Coleman, a Republican, won Wellstone’s seat after defeating former U.S. Senator and vice president Walter Mondale.

“It actually took me a couple of years to make the final decision, but all during that period people had been growing more and more unhappy with the direction this country’s going in,” says Franken on his decision to run. “People are yearning for a new political culture and for leaders who will stand up to special interests and stand up for working families, for leaders who will fight for what they believe and be a voice for those who don’t feel they have a voice in Washington.”

(Interview continued in part 2.)

Returning home was natural for Franken because, in a sense, he never really left.

“I feel very at home being at home,” says Franken who has been married for more than 30 years and is the father of two grown children.

“Even though I was in New York doing Saturday Night Live all those years, my parents stayed in Minnesota and I’d be back all the time. I think people who come to New York from other parts of the country do either one of two things: either they become a New Yorker or they become more of where they were from.”

Franken experienced the latter.

“The years I lived in New York,” he continues, “I always felt like a Minnesotan in New York. I’ll give you an example. There’s no subway in Minnesota, and yet, whenever I rode the subway in New York, which I did all the time, I felt like a Minnesotan because the subway is cheaper and very often, for example during rush hour, much faster, and I’d think to myself, this is exactly what a Minnesotan would do - ride the subway.”

One of the issues Franken says he’s fighting for is health care for all.

“It affects almost everything - veterans, cost of education, small business, big business, medium business, you name it,” he says. “We spend twice as much per person on health care as any other industrialized country, and yet they cover everybody. We have 47 million Americans without any health insurance and tens of millions more who live in constant fear that they’re one health care crisis away from bankruptcy. Every other industrialized country has universal health care.”

“There are many different systems, but the one thing they have in common is that everyone’s covered. We have to find an American system that promotes preventive care. According to the World Health Organization, we are last in the world in preventive care. That’s crazy.”

“We have to regulate the health insurance industry so that we’re not spending so much of our health care dollars on administrative fees. Right now we pay 34%. No other country pays more than 21%.”

“We have to allow the government to negotiate with the pharmaceutical companies. The fact that Medicare was prohibited from negotiating with the pharmaceuticals in Medicare Part D will add hundreds of billions to our health care costs. We have to stand up to the special interests, and I believe there’s now the political will to do so.”

Having been a comedian and now a politician, Franken muses on which is more difficult.

“Woody Allen once said, ‘comedy is either easy or it’s impossible,’” says Franken, who describes himself as a devout patriot and has made numerous USO tours to Iraq, Kosovo and Bosnia.

“When it’s working, there’s nothing more fun. I think politics involves a lot more spadework. Although there are certainly times when you feel exhilarated and that you’re accomplishing something, there are times when you feel like you’re rolling a boulder up a hill.”

–Interview by Jane Ammeson, Red Editorial Staff
–Photos courtesy of Al Franken

Air out the do-rags and find your lighters people, because last Monday the impossible happened. The planets aligned, the skies parted, and Eddie Van Halen hugged Diamond Dave. It’s true. For the first time since April Fool’s Day, 1985, Van Halen is back together for a 25-date reunion tour.

All is right with the world again.

In case you’re too young to remember them (or you live under a rock) Van Halen was one of the most important and influential rock bands of the 80’s, and when front man David Lee Roth left Van Halen 22 years, 4 months, and 16 days ago, the world of rock died a little inside.

I’m not saying that Van Halen didn’t enjoy a career with Roth’s replacement Sammy Hagar. I’m sure Van Halen enjoyed it, even though I didn’t. But now there’s new hope for those of us who remember the world of rock at the height of its reign, hope for all of us who have ever been “Hot For Teacher”, hope for all of us who remember one of the greatest rock albums of all time—“1984”.

If this news weren’t epic enough, the band says they plan to record a brand new album after the tour. As far as that goes, however, I have to say I’m a little skeptical. Maybe it’s just too much of a good thing, maybe it’s because the band is in their 50’s, or maybe because it’s simply asking too much of the cosmos. Whatever happens, the Van Halen fans of the world should let this sink in slowly and revel in it every step of the way. If Van Halen and Diamond Dave can do the impossible and see eye to eye after all these years, the next big thing on the horizon should be obvious . . .

World peace.

RED.

The Super Bowl of competitive eating happened yesterday at the corner of Surf and Stillwell streets in New York’s Coney Island - Nathan’s Famous July Fourth International Hot Dog Eating Contest.

No less than 30,000 people crammed into the makeshift arena to get a glimpse of the gluttony. Who would wear the coveted Nathan’s Famous Yellow Mustard Belt at day’s end?

Would it be six-time defending champion Takeru Kobayashi, the crowd favorite who once ate 17 pounds of pan-seared beef brains? Kobayashi had famously been ailing with an arthritic jaw. He got acupuncture all night in preparation.

Would it be Joey Chestnut, the current world record holder with 59.5 dogs scarfed in June 2007, the world gyoza, waffle, asparagus and chicken-wing eating champion, and odds-on favorite?

Would it be dark horse Patrick Bertolletti, who recently beat Chestnut in a jalape~no eating contest, a man who ate 11 corned beef sandwiches in 10 minutes?

How about the ladies’ favorite, Sonya Thomas, “The Black Widow,” who once ate 65 hard-boiled eggs?

Kobayashi and Chestnut were a good dozen dogs ahead of everyone else. With two minutes and thirty seconds to go, they were tied at 55 apiece, already surpassing the Nathan’s Famous record. Kobayashi passed Chestnut with a minute to go.

As the buzzer sounded, however, it was all Chestnut, bringing the Mustard Belt back to the U.S. of A., roasting Kobayashi and obliterating his own world record with 66 dogs downed.

Adding to the drama, Kobayashi pulled a “reversal” in the final seconds and was almost disqualified, but in a truly nauseating display of grit and mettle, he managed to slurp down the dogs he’d lost and retain second place.