Red’s Rundown (11.21.08)

–According to a USA TODAY/Gallup Poll, 47% of adults believe “providing loans and other help” to auto companies is “not very important,” but I don’t think everyone understands how serious a collapse of this country’s auto industry would be.  Let me put it this way: if the auto industry in America collapses, it would be like amputating Rocky Balboa’s arms.

–In related news, did you know that NASCAR got a piece of the bail out money?  Look it up.  It’s under Title III Section 317 of the original bail out plan.  That’s what I love about government . . . consistency.

–German police are frantically searching for a convicted drug dealer who escaped from jail after hiding in a cardboard box that was sent for recycling.  A week has passed without any result, and by now it’s feared the convict enlisted the help of a kid with a crayon to turn his cardboard box into an imaginary airplane.  He could be anywhere by now.

–While not official yet, there is a very high probability that President-elect Obama will name Hillary Clinton as Secretary of State.  Hillary’s husband, former President Bill Clinton, is in the process of being vetted to determine how many parties he plans to throw while his wife is out of the country.

–The DVD of Gomorra, an Italian film set in Naples about the Camorra mob, which also operates out of Naples, has gone on sale several days before it’s actually scheduled to go on sale.  What, I don’t know where those DVDs came from.  They fell off the back of a truck or somthin’.  Why you askin’ so many friggin’ questions, anyway?  Fuhgetaboutit!

–In a “tell all” interview set to air on Nov. 30, Britney Spears says of her fame that she “wanted to just stop.”  So, Britney regrets her fame . . . and so do we, Britney.  So do we.

–Bahrain’s Sheikh Abdullah is suing Michael Jackson over a matter of $7 million for a failed joint business venture, including plans to build “an oasis of calm for Michael where he could find a safe haven away from the scrutiny of the world’s media.”  Now, Jackson will testify at a London high court . . . amidst scrutiny and in front of the world’s media.

–According to the BBC, in response to hard economic times Croatian Prime Minister Ivo Sanader has actually taken Christmas away by banning “Christmas and New Year’s gifts as well as organising Christmas and New Year’s receptions.” But don’t worry, Croatia . . . Christmas comes “without ribbons,” it comes “without tags,” it comes “without packages, boxes or bags.”

–Joey Alfino, Red Editorial Staff.