–In an effort to ensure the punishment fits the crime, police in Shanghai will begin punishing jaywalkers by posting their picture in newspapers and on television in order to publicly humiliate them. That might sound strange, but it’s better than what they do to you for littering: it involves a flagpole and your underwear.

–King of Pop Michael Jackson told Good Morning America in a phone interview that, even though he’s 50 years old, he feels “very young.” I bet he does. It takes plastic about 400 years to biodegrade, you know.

–David Duchovny, the “X-Files” actor who got his start on the steamy adult series “The Red Shoe Diaries” and recently played a womanizing writer on the cable television series “Californication,” has checked into rehab for his crippling sex addiction. Man. And all this time I thought he was an actor.

–Inflation rates have made most meats too expensive for some citizens in Cambodia, causing many to feed themselves with rat meat. Plans to open a Cambodian Disneyland have been abandoned since Mickey fears for his life.

–In the U.K., a large slice of royal cake from the wedding of Lady Diana Spencer and Prince Charles was sold at auction for 1,000 pounds ($1,826.40). Chris Albury, from the auction house in South Cerney said, “Whoever bought it is unlikely to eat it as it will undoubtedly taste stale and be an expensive experiment.” True, but I’ll bet it wouldn’t be was stale as that comment.

–Jacob van Dijk, a geometrician in the Netherlands, is claiming Italy’s Tower of Pisa is no longer the world’s most leaning tower. According to him, the world’s most leaning tower is the church tower of Walfridus. That’s how important history is in Europe. They’re actually going to argue over whose building is falling down the fastest.

–Italian priest Antonio Rungi told the press that he has decided to cancel his controversial plans to hold the world’s first beauty contest exclusively for nuns. I guess the swimsuit competition was a problem.

–A woman is suing a small town in Pennsylvania because they won’t let her open a female-only fitness studio where participants get in shape through pole dancing, power lap dancing and other high impact exercises called “SeXXXercise.” A town representative said it was “too dangerous for their township.” Township? Are they afraid the SeXXXercise will get in the way of their butter churning and witch burning?

–Joey Alfino, RED Editorial Staff.

Another long, grueling college football season kicked off last night with the nation’s fiercest rivalry–Stanford/Oregon State–and it promises to be an even more rewarding year than last year. A historic season in which . . . a two-loss team was crowned the national champion.

Ok, last year kind of stunk.

In addition to a twice-defeated champ, 07-08 had the spread offense spreading itself thinner than Britney Spears’ PR man, a humanoid Heisman trophy winner and not one, but two BCS appearances from the terrible twosome of Oklahoma/Ohio State.

Even worse, all of these things seem primed for an encore in 2008.

So, in a last ditch effort to prevent history from repeating itself, here is my wish list to the college football gods for this season. Maybe together we can make 2008 better.

First, and I truly cannot emphasize this enough, do not let Ohio State or Oklahoma within spitting distance of a BCS game. Especially the title game. Even if they’re undefeated.

College football fans cannot suffer through another Stoopsian meltdown or Tressel tremble. Take someone from the Mountain West if need be, just don’t pre-ordain another 55-19 BCS blowout. I shudder to think what would happen if they played each other in a BCS game (the first ever football game where both teams lose 48-10?).

Next, would it be too much to ask for a Heisman trophy winner with some semblance of a personality? Tim Tebow is undoubtedly a nice guy, but he makes Eli Manning look like Jack Nicholson.

His droning consistency may be perfect for Urban Meyer’s soulless killing machine of a program, but for heaven’s sake give us someone with a little more unpredictability.
Running touchdown, passing touchdown, interview about charity work with vanilla comments about the preceding game. Rinse, wash, repeat. I get more entertainment out of watching a wind farm.

In all fairness, Tebow is pretty representative of the entire SEC–which leads us to my next wish–please finally let this be the year that the SEC collapses on itself.

Do it big, remove every vestige of interest. Make EVERY game 17-16. Make EVERY team 7-5 with a Chick-Fil-A bowl birth. Make the entire regular season the Chick-Fil-A tournament if you have to. Just stop subjecting us to 10-9 Auburn-South Carolina prime time games on Saturday night. Start a regional network and leave the rest of the country alone (and take Mark May with you).

Finally, enough with all the outrageously tacky new uniforms. How many swoops and swishes does it take to emphasize that a uniform is “new and revolutionary.” Having a solid color on top of another solid color is fine. Throw in a stripe or two if you must. But please no more things like the “razorback tusks” on the posteriors of the Arkansas uniforms. Darren McFadden didn’t run so fast because he was getting poked in the ass.

Admittedly, these are all small steps toward a better college football, but even if only one comes true, it will be a better year for everybody in 2008.

–Patrick Daugherty, RED Editorial Staff

I just finished a forty-five minute battle with my cell phone company’s customer retention department over erroneous charges and an over-inflated bill and I realize my pounding heart rate could stop a bull elephant in its tracks.

I have to start breathing slowly and deeply and envision myself in a happy place. Breathe in. Breathe out. That’s it . . . close your eyes and think of the rolling mountain roadways leading to steep granite cliffs overlooking the crashing azure waves of the Mediterranean.

This is my happy place. Costa Brava.

As I slowly feel my screaming high blood pressure subside, I recall a Sunday drive through Spain’s northeastern coastline of Catalonia. Our trip began in Girona–a medieval town in Catalonia painted with pastel buildings and split in two by the serene River Onyar.

It’s the memory of Girona, a tranquil and artsy town, that takes my mind to a more peaceful state after my epic battle with the evil cell phone empire.

I remember driving towards the shore in a rented shoebox of a car to Cadaques, the St. Tropez of Spain through the rolling Pyrenees mountain range. The scent from the statuesque Pine and Cork trees flooded the inside of our car on our drive along the Costa Brava.

I was so entranced from this intoxicating scent, I became one of those dogs hanging their head out of an open car window, trying to get closer to the alluring and heavenly bouquet.

Along our magical trip down Costa Brava’s coastal highway, we spot picturesque fishing villages dotted along the winding coast. Within these small villages, we admire backyard sized stony beaches whose beach-going visitors have to share beach blanket space with parked wooden fishing boats back from the morning catch.

We stop into a quaint village to grab a bite to eat and quickly recognize that olives, wine and fish are the staple of this coastal economy. Rich, peppery olive oil drenches anything edible and fresh caught fish fill each handwritten menu café after café.

As we drove south along the Costa Brava, village after village, we are amazed by the graceful display of a simpler way of life. You could see it in the villager’s eyes. They knew what they had and they were very proud of it.

As the memories of my trip to Costa Brava begin to wane, the stress from my recent battle with my cell phone company starts to recede as well. Thanks to the recollections of the pleasing sights, smells and tastes of Costa Brava, a smile replaces my scowl and a Zen-like calm returns to my being.

Costa Brava took me away.

COOK’S NOTES: Simplicity and perfection describes the local Costa Brava cuisine. Food is derived from both the sea and vines. Coca is a Spanish version of pizza, but without the cheese. Coca can be found in many seaside cafes along the Costa Brava. Although Coca is plentiful in the local cafes, Catalonia’s home cooks don’t usually attempt this recipe at home-they leave it to the small cafes in town. Feel free to use your own toppings, whatever vegetables are in season will taste the best.

“COCA” Costa Brava Style

2 1-pound loaves frozen white bread dough, thawed, room temperature
9 tablespoons olive oil
1/2 teaspoon ground black pepper
½ teaspoon sea salt

2 medium red onions, sliced very thinly
5 large garlic cloves, minced
2 large tomatoes, sliced thinly
2 large red bell peppers, chopped fine
1 lb. cooked Spanish sausage (Andouille or chorizo can be used)

Place each loaf of bread dough in a separate bowl and knead in 1 tablespoon oil to each along with half the pepper and salt. Knead for a couple of minutes until the oil, salt and pepper are incorporated and let the dough rest in their respective bowl for at least 10 to 15 minutes.

Oil two baking sheets with olive oil. Roll out dough onto floured surface and knead for a couple minutes. With a rolling pin, roll each dough piece to about the size of a 12×8-inch rectangle.

With floured hands, you can stretch your dough to achieve this shape. Move you dough rectangles to the oiled sheets. After brushing the dough with another tablespoon of olive oil, let the dough rise in your oven puffed up. This may take about 20 to 30 minutes.

In a sauté pan, sauté onions and garlic in a tablespoon of oil till soft. Remove puffed dough from oven and preheat oven to 400°F.

Press the puffed dough all over with fingers and brush with more olive oil. Lay the tomatoes in a single layer then the rest of the vegetables evenly between the two loaves. Sprinkle the sausage and leave 1-inch border to ensure a crisp crust and brush with more olive oil. Bake about 25 minutes or until the crust is golden brown. Serve at room temperature.

If you insist on cheese on this pizza-like concoction, grated aged Manchego is a great Spanish cheese that will compliment the vegetables and olive oil.

–Shelly Connors, RED Editorial Staff.

I made my first trip to the Big Apple three years ago as part of a Spring Break/St. Patty’s Day/convention trip. While wandering around the city I took my eyes off the impressive skyline long enough to notice some graffiti . . . one message in particular.

It went like this:

My
Entire
Team
Sucks

I laughed out loud and must’ve looked a bit odd, chortling to myself in a dirty Williamsburg alley. Of course, it’s New York and likely no one noticed or cared.

But while this is as clever as anything The Onion or The Daily Show might offer up, I would like to correct the anonymous anagrammer; it’s not the entire team, just the bullpen.

After all, the Mets currently hold a ½ game lead over the Phillies, have taken 10 of 15 games against Philadelphia, and are 22-16 in their last 38 games. Add to that Carlos Delgado and his hot bat which has been leading the offense with 7 homers and 24 RBI’s in August.

Heck, even GM Omar Minaya’s questionable decision to fire manager Willie Randolph in the wee hours of the morning has seemingly paid off as interim manager Jerry Manuel has a 40-25 record since taking over.

No, the only thing about this team that sucks is the bullpen.

This was never more apparent than on Tuesday night when the bullpen blew a 7-run lead in an 8-7, 13 inning Phils win.

For the season, the Mets bullpen has blown 23 saves in 60 opportunities while posting a staggering ERA of 5.89 since the All-Star Break.

Only one team in franchise history has posted a half-season bullpen ERA close to this year’s, and that was the 1962 Mets whose season tally of 40-120 is the worst in modern baseball history.

And even their ERA was a half run better at 5.04.

Their would-be closer, Billy Wagner, went on the D.L. earlier this month after an MRI revealed a strained left forearm. Wagner has 27 saves this year but is also responsible for 7 blown saves.

Yet somehow the Mets have still continued to turn this team around and make a legitimate playoff push. And with their big brothers from the Bronx all but mathematically eliminated from the playoff hunt, this city’s October hopes reside in Queens.

But if they want to avoid another monumental collapse the likes of last year, the bullpen will need to step it up . . . and do it in a hurry.

Because as it is now, if the Mets’ bullpen comes into the game with a lead, the suspense builds faster than a Hitchcock film.

–Aaron Whitebread, RED Editorial Staff.

The people at NASA are hatching some pretty far-fetched schemes again. That’s a good thing. I’m a huge fan of the space program, albeit for misguided reasons.

Sure, there’s plenty of scientific importance in what NASA does. I just like the space program ’cause it’s . . . like . . . really cool and stuff. So in the closest NASA can come to a sequel, it’s planning to boldly go where we’ve been before–the moon. But this time, we’re going to hang out for a while.

NASA’s plan to revisit the moon (assuming the first trip wasn’t faked in a studio) will include the installation of a manned outpost facility where the bravest of the brave, or the loneliest of the lonely, will spend long periods of time hanging out and playing cards while doing research; just like what our current scientists do in the barren, godforsaken outposts we’ve got scattered throughout the Antarctic.

In short, NASA wants to build a moon base. Awesome.

Pete Worden, the director of NASA’s Ames Research Center in Moffett Field, California, told the press that a moon base would be the next logical step towards the settlement of the solar system.

But let’s be honest here and call it what it is: the first step in a new kind of intergalactic manifest destiny.

“Unlike the last time we went to the moon . . . everybody is going to the moon now,” Worden told reporters. “There are at least a dozen proposals I know of from various countries to go to the moon.”

But it’s bound to be pricey. The housing market on Earth is bad enough as it is, so I can’t imagine how expensive it would be to build on a plot of lunar land.

Like the International Space Station, a moon base would have to be the most elaborate timeshare the galaxy has ever seen. So if other countries want to help share the bill, that’s a stroke of luck.

There’s no way America will be able to do this on her own. Well, maybe we could afford it, but actually getting that budget approved would be harder than asking Vladimir Putin to stop playing “Risk” with real countries.

Otherwise, our only option is to turn private funding, and I doubt any of us would like that. Private funding usually equals advertising opportunities for the company signing the checks.

I’m pretty sure there would be an uprising of historic proportions if our shiny new moon base were constructed next to the biggest Bud Light billboard in the history of time.

Then again, if humanity is actually planning to use the moon as a stepping-stone to populate space, advertising is bound to worm its way in eventually. You might want to prepare your kids for the following:

“Tonight’s full moon is brought to you by . . . Bud Light.”

–Joey Alfino, RED Editorial Staff.

This September, actor Mark-Paul Gosselaar, probably best known for playing Zack Morris in the long running TV series “Saved by the Bell” and John Clark in “NYPD Blue,” will portray a dedicated public defender in TNT’s new legal series, “Raising the Bar.” Starring with Gosselaar are Gloria Reuben of “ER” fame, playing the head of the Public Defender’s office and Jane Kaczmarek, of “Malcolm in the Middle,” as Judge Trudy Kessler. Nick Balco portrays a ruthless district attorney knowledgeable in gaming the system to take advantage of any legal loophole possible.

Gosselaar, who has also starred with Geena Davis in the series “Commander in Chief” and such big screen movies as “Beer Money” and “Sticks and Stones,” is again working with Emmy award winning producer Steven Bochco, who directed him in “NYPD Blue.” He took time out to talk to Red about his new series.

Your character, Jerry Kellerman, is based on “Indefensible: One Lawyer’s Journey into the Inferno of American Justice,” by David Feige, former trial chief of the Bronx Defenders, who helped create the series with Bochco. Are you like Jerry?

I’m a very passionate person in my life, but do I agree with everything Jerry does? I guess I protect myself more and I’m more of a fence sitter. The guilt that drives Jerry and that he feels is overwhelming. I don’t have that. And my passion is for my family.

You’ve acted in a lot of movies and TV shows. Is this one different in anyway?

I haven’t been this enthusiastic about a start up project ever. We have a great cast and we’re all excited because Steven (Bochco) is excited. When Steven is happy, he’s like a locomotive. He starts off slow but gathers speed. And he’s really gathering speed with this. Working with Steven in starting a project from scratch, you develop the love of it and we all have respect for his work. Steven wants people that are passionate, that’s the underlying tone of all his work and that’s what made “NYPD Blue” so successful.

You spent four years working with Steven in “NYPD Blue” and now you’re working for him again. Are you friends off the set as well?

I see Steven as a family member. He invites us to his house, but I still never forget he’s my boss. That’s just me.

How did you get up to speed to play your character?

David Fiege, whose book the series is loosely based on, was nice enough to take me to the Bronx Defenders where I spent a week working as an intern. I did arraignments, went to night court and got to do some investigative work. It was a great learning experience and really helped me understand my character.

You played a cop and now you’re a lawyer. How do you compare the two?

Well, I know that John Clark Jr. would not like my new character.

Off screen, Gosselaar’s interests veer towards action. He plays hockey, participates in track cycling events including the Far West Championships, motorcycle and motocross racing and is an avid pilot. Born and raised in California, Gosselaar’s father is Dutch and his mother Indonesian. He has three siblings and speaks Dutch. Gosselaar, who was vacationing in Northern Michigan with his wife Lisa Ann Russell and their two children, spoke to Red about his off screen pursuits, his family and career.

Does your wife worry about your interest in fast paced sports?

I get the stink eye when I tell her I’m going to do something like that. She understands but asks why can’t I not do it. But I like to push the limits of my body. My brother got me a bike, a little 50 cc peewee motorcycle when I was three years old, so I started young. As for flying, I appreciate the technical aspect of it, the precision.

You played Zack Morris on “Saved by the Bell” and so grew up on TV. We’ve all heard horror stories about how hard it is to make the transition and about those who didn’t make it. How did you manage it?

I think it was patience and having the right representation saying let’s hold off. We had a specific direction; and if a project wasn’t going in the right direction, I would walk away from it.

Was that difficult?

Yes, that meant walking away from a lot of money at times and also maybe not working for a year. So there’s a lot of anxiety. But I like being an actor and I wanted to be able to keep acting and so I need to have a goal and work towards it. And luckily my wife is very good with money. We have to be careful with how we live our life but that’s okay. I always have this feeling that I’m losing everything, so I’m a real saver.

When you’re not working or racing, what do you do for fun?

Spend time with my family. I’m on vacation right now with family and that’s what I work for. I love this. It’s not that I don’t like glitzy; eating at a wonderful restaurant or going to a fun party, but my family is what’s most important to me.

You and your wife met on the set of “Saved by the Bell: The College Years.” Have you acted together since?

She quit acting about two years after we met. We’ve been together for 15 years and married for 12. Lisa understands me. I’m very complex. I have trouble opening up to people. I tend to keep things to myself. All my life, I’ve been kind of shy - opening up is always a challenge and Lisa can understand that.

What’s it like watching yourself now in “Saved by the Bell?”

I have a hard time watching the shows; it’s like opening up a yearbook from when you were in junior high. I think everybody looks back at their photos and cringe. I get to experience it with everybody else in the world looking at mine.

“Raising the Bar” is set to premiere Monday, Sept. 1, at 10 p.m. (ET/PT) on TNT. For more information visit tnt.tv/series/raisingthebar.

–Interview by Jane Ammeson, RED Editorial Staff.

Dear Michael Strahan: I’m sorry.

388 days ago, in one of my first articles for this publication, I had a few less than cordial things to say about your training camp holdout before your eventual championship season.

I said you were past your prime, I said the only thing you could bring to the New York Football Giants organization was baggage, I said the fat lady was signing, and I said the time had come for you to buy a new suit and become a sportscaster.

I guess you must have listened to that last part, though, because you are really close to cracking jokes with Bradshaw on Fox NFL Sunday. That’s awesome for Bradshaw. He needs help. Serious, serious help.

But back to the point.

I had mentioned during last year’s holdout that part of being a football player is facing life past your prime. And when that happens (Brett Favre), no amount of loyalty (Green Bay) or memories (Brett Favre) or history (Green Bay) is worth anything after a franchise decides to move on (Aaron Rodgers).

Which, Mr. Strahan, was exactly the position you found yourself in 388 days ago while you were waiting for coach Tom Coughlin to call your cell phone. You were depressed. You were frustrated. You were hurt that a Giants team you had devoted so many years to was threatening to put you out in the cold.

Now who’s laughing, eh?

It took over a year and a Super Bowl ring, but now, because of a tragic season-ending injury to London-born star DE Osi Unemyiora, a deal is in the works that would bring you out of retirement to help the Giants get over their Super Bowl hangover.

I know you’re on vacation in Greece right now, Michael–can I call you Michael?–so maybe you didn’t see what Giants co-owner Steve Tisch said to the New York Post:

“Would I like Michael Strahan to be a New York Giant this season? Absolutely. Absolutely.”

And even though they treated you like a has-been 388 days ago (So did I. Did I mention I was sorry about that?), I think this is an offer you should seriously consider . . . especially if they give you that $8-$12 million you allegedly want.

Really. I think you should consider it. Then I think you should call Steve Tisch and laugh at him.

Make it a good laugh, too. A nice, deep guffaw with ample breath support from the diaphragm.

They almost didn’t want you last year because your dominance might have been a “thing of the past,” but just because New York’s Super Bowl dreams for this year look like a “thing of the past” is no reason for reciprocity.

Don’t fall for it, Michael. Don’t succumb to the pressure of Giants fans that will say you don’t have any “loyalty” to a team that didn’t show any “loyalty” to you 388 days ago.

I think we both know that you won’t be able to top the season you had last year. It was an improbable, momentous, once-in-a-lifetime way to leave the game of football, and the odds of you repeating a season like that are “slim” and “none.” And slim just got a knee injury.

So enjoy Greece, Michael, but don’t rush it.

The only hard work waiting for you here at home is dealing with Terry Bradshaw’s sense of humor.

–Joey Alfino, RED Editorial Staff

“Where is the palace?”

It’s the question most commonly asked by tourists to Split, Croatia. And the one that leaves locals laughing. “Look around you,” they say. “You’re in it.”

This UNESCO World Heritage city and its namesake fortress (”Split” derives from ancient Croatian for “palace”) have always been inseparable.

In the 3rd century AD the Roman Emperor Diocletian, a native of Croatia, selected Split for his retirement home immediately after assuming the throne, so enamored was he of the area’s Adriatic location.

In fact, the emperor was so fond of his new beachfront digs that when the palace complex was completed some 20 years into Diocletian’s reign, he abdicated the throne and made fast tracks for Split.

Only 6 years later Diocletian died, but his palace didn’t go to waste. The locals subdivided the stone fortress, carving their own spaces within arched subterranean vaults, pillared arcades and palace rooms–a process that has continued for 1,700 years.

Today souvenir salesmen sell leather and coral beneath the stone arches of Split’s palace vaults. A coffee shop serves drinks and baked goods on the steps of an ancient courtyard, observed by the watchful eyes of weathered Egyptian sphinxes.

Apartment buildings, some built during medieval days, others built within the last century, make use of the superfluous width of 3rd century chariot lanes. Stylish shops sell expensive gold jewelry, designer clothing and inky-colored Croatian wine, occupying rooms once reserved for an emperor’s entourage.

The Peristil Hotel and a dozen restaurants fill up the remaining 100,000 sq. ft. of interior space. Not even Diocletian’s mausoleum remains untouched. It’s been converted into a church. No one knows where the emperor’s body ended up.

There’s no doubt about it: Diocletian’s palace is Split. And Split is Diocletian’s palace.

The emperor’s retirement home no longer sits directly on the Adriatic seashore, thanks to a millennium and a half of shifting coastline and modern development. Instead, a beachside promenade, the Riva, paved with polished concrete tiles, separates the palace of Split from a modern marina where cruise ships and yachts moor before setting out for one of Croatia’s 1,185 islands.

The Riva springs into action after dark, when local bars turn up the music and pour on the drinks. Visitors watch the action from waterfront benches along Split’s port. Or, better still, they head to the upper levels of Diocletian’s old palace and catch the buzz first-hand.

Somewhere, Diocletian is turning in his grave.

For more information, contact Croatia’s National Tourist Board at www.croatia.hr, or call 800-829-4416.

–Amy S. Eckert, RED Editorial Staff.

With the close of the 2008 Beijing Olympics, not only were we treated to the fanfare but we were also privileged to see two events eliminated from the 2012 Games.

Baseball, and its counter-part softball, has gone the way of tug-of-war. (Yeah, tug-of-war used to be an Olympic sport)

The last gold medal in the hallowed sport of baseball was won by Korea Saturday morning with their 3-2 defeat of Cuba—it was the first, and maybe only, gold medal won by a nation other than Cuba or the U.S. in Olympic baseball since its 1992 inclusion to the games.

That’s because the IOC president, Jacques Rogge, has decided to eliminate the sport from Olympic competition due in part to its lack of major-league talent.

This of course flies in the face of baseball’s growing international audience and the resulting pool of talent that continues deepen across the globe. Rogge’s decision also seems to ignore this year’s tournament.

Korea, a nation not really considered among the favorites like the U.S., Cuba and Japan, swept through the 2008 Beijing baseball fields like wild-fire. They defeated every opponent they faced; including twice downing powerhouses Cuba and Japan.

But you know, for the most part I agree with you, Jacques. When I think of the Olympics I think of the best athletes from across the globe competing against one another for gold medals and national pride.

Of course the problem is the overlap of the regular MLB season and the Summer Games, no team wants to send away their best players during the playoff push.

So, here’s what I propose: once every four years the Major Leagues take a two-week hiatus in order to allow all the Dice-Ks, A-Rods, K-Rods and Big Poppies to play for their country and the gold medal.

It would be an interruption to the regular season but then again the baseball nation would turn their eyes to the international stage. We would all be watching with the same fervor and awe that went into the first dream team.

Countries missing from this year’s games, most notably the Dominican Republic, would be in the mix. Japan and the U.S. would feature the best talents they could offer. The Netherlands, who scored a whopping nine runs, won just one game and allowed 50 runs, wouldn’t be there. (My apologies to the Dutch.)

Now, it would make for a strange team dynamic considering the teams would seemingly only meet up for the two weeks it takes to play the tourney, but I think it’s a small sacrifice considering the alternative—no baseball.

And no Olympic glory.

–Aaron Whitebread, RED Editorial Staff.

With the Olympics officially in the books, life in the political scene is finally going to get interesting again. The Republican National Convention is right around the corner, but first things first.

Right now, all the biggest Democratic players in the nation are gathering in Denver to feel out how bad things really are, and weather or not the words “party” and “unity” even exist in the leftist lexicon anymore.

I wonder if the reason why the Democrats traditionally prefer tighter gun restrictions is because they keep shooting themselves in the foot.

Oh, all right. Maybe that’s a little harsh, but I think it’s also slightly pragmatic at the same time.

There have been plenty of highs and lows throughout the history of the DNC, but after Sen. Clinton and Sen. Obama’s primary battle that lasted longer than a Tolstoy novel, there is definitely a feeling in the air that this year’s convention could be more convoluted and tense than . . . well . . . a Tolstoy novel (See kids? Literature is useful).

There is still plenty of resentment swirling around the hearts and minds of many a Hillary supporter, and even though she will officially release her delegates to Sen. Obama, those same delegates don’t have to follow Hillary’s recommendation.

And many of them won’t.

According to a poll recently conducted by CNN, 66 percent of registered Democratic Hillary supporters say they’ll back Obama, but that number is down from 75 percent in June. That’s a nine percent drop.

But here’s the kicker: the number of Clinton supporters who say they’ll jump off the “S.S. Left Wing” entirely and vote McCain is up to 11 percent.

Which is, according to a new McCain television ad featuring a recently defected Democrat is, “okay, really!”

And that’s not surprising in politics. Civility in the political world is just as endangered as the Humpback Whale is in the real world. McCain is doing everything he can to make sure Obama sees a picture of Hillary everywhere he looks, and even though it’s kind of an annoying strategy, it’s working.

McCain and Obama were tied in national polls this morning.

It’s also being reported that former President Clinton is less than ecstatic about his assigned speech topic at the DNC. Clinton was asked to speak about national security, but he feels his strength is the economy.

No word yet on the odds of President Clinton actually sticking to the script. Fingers crossed, eh?

So my advice to all of you–no matter what your political affiliation might be–is two fold: one, watch the DNC, and two, give up your diet if you’re on one.

You’ll need a lot of popcorn for the show.

–Joey Alfino, RED Editorial Staff.